The Old Soundman: Earplug Wearin’ Musicians & An Insolent Newbie

Yo there old guy,

You got some kind of problem? Why I oughta…

How did you get into the industry, and how did you get so disillusioned? (beats me)

I am a young budding 19-year-old trying to do a physics degree, (hahaha) and I would love to do live sound (no kid, get a good job).

I believe in moderation in life, as in not busting the guts out of some speaker (ooh goody) if we may savour a little respect for a love of music (so young, so innocent).

I have had a fair bit of experience, but I can never find anything past offering my services to people I know (what’s new?).

I love your humor, and have provided anticipated responses in () parentheses.

Thanks, Rik

Rik, let’s explore the inner workings of your mind (if there’s anything there).

See? I can use parentheses, too.

I deduce by your use of some anglicized spellings that you are either across the pond in merrie olde redcoat land, playing your penny-whistle, or else down in Qz, happily making crazed guttural noises into your culturally appropriated (stolen) didgeridoo.

You seem to think that the “me” that exists in your brain is actually who I am. You think your perceptions of me, that virtual voodoo doll that you call the Old Soundman, is the entirety of my existence.

On top of that, you have defied my repeated admonishments to you pilgrims—that I handle the funny stuff. Your role is to just politely ask the audio questions and then shut up and step back so you don’t get any on ya.

I spray humor like A Tribe Called Quest spits rhymes!

More people read me than read the New York Times!

Everybody applauds when my bell chimes!

I’m a master perpetrator who never gets punished for my crimes!

You’ve never had to suffer any really hard times!

If you don’t shape up, I’ll bust your grill with a roll of dimes!

And these are the breaks, Rik!

Luv,
The Old Rappin’ Soundman

There’s simply no denying the love from The Old Soundman. Check out more from OSM here.