15) When mixing a show and you really have to take a “whiz,” you…
—Go take a whiz – “when you gotta go, you gotta go” – 3 points
—Act nonchalant as you fill up every empty container in sight – 6 points
—Try and make the mad dash between songs – 5 points
16) While mixing the show, do you make the time to listen to the sound outside of the mix area?
—No, you’re always too busy turning all those knobs – 5 points
—Never thought of it – 4 points
—Every time you’re in a new venue – 1 point
—You play hide and seek with the band ducking down in the crowd and popping up in various places – 6 points
—Only when you have to take a whiz – 3 points
17) Your mix sounds amazing because…
—You use a lot of expensive outboard gear – 7 points
—You use a really huge mixing board – 6 points
—You have lots and lots of inputs from stage – 7 points
—All of the above – 0 points
18) There was an imaginary concert that sounded really, really bad. The most probable cause was…
—Lack of fancy tube compressors with big knobs – 3 points
—A $10,000 studio effect that was needed was not available on this continent – 7 points
—One of the seven high hat mics stopped working right before the show started – 0 points
—The human surrounded by all those lights and knobs – 1 point
19) It is important to “limit” those support acts because…
—Just in case the support engineer can mix better, at least he/she will not be as loud – 7 points
—It is easier than asking them to mix at a reasonable level – 5 points
—Support engineers look cute when they are angry – 4 points
—Only when they suffer from CFC (Chronic Fader Creep) disease – 1 point
20) Running pink noise through the sound system is important for…
—Helping to find some of the hot spots and holes when EQ’ing the sound system – 1 point
—Its calming effect on the lamps in the truss – 3 points
—Letting the air out of the sound system and avoiding over-pressurization – 4 points
—All of the above – 0 points
21) The best music to tune a sound system to is…
—Steely Dan – 7 points
—Dire Straights, “Money for Nothing” – 3 points.
—Your side project band – 2 points
—Some music that sounds even remotely similar tonally to the show you are mixing – 0 points
—Tenacious D – 6 points
22) When an audience member takes it upon himself/herself to critique your mix and tell you they can’t hear the vocals, you…
—Have them thrown out by security – 3 points
—Make excuses blaming the system, the techs, the band and where the audience member is sitting – 7 points
—Listen, smile and say thank you – 5 points
—Go ahead and un-mute the lead vocal mic and turn it up slowly – 6 points
23) You are mixing the largest show of a band’s (and your own) career. The PA company hired for the show, in an attempt to get a jump on load out, inadvertently unplugs your console from the main system after you tested everything, and just as your band walks on stage. To your horror, you see what looks like (and is) one of the band members jumping around but no sound is coming out of the PA. Who is ultimately responsible for the screw up?
—You, because you’re responsible for the sound no matter what – 0 points
—The PA tech that unplugged the console – 5 points
—The PA company department head for letting it happen – 3 points
—Not sure but that sucks! – 6 points
—The real issue is “who is gonna pay for the console” that you accidentally flipped and began jumping on top of after it happened – 7 points
24) As a sound “engineer” you share a common title with many other professionals in the highly advanced society we live in. Which of the following engineering jobs do you feel most qualified to perform, given the experience and knowledge you acquired to earn you the impressive title ‘engineer’?
—Design a cost-effective five-foot wide wooden bridge that will safely support up to 32 oxen, spanning a 30-foot wide river – 5 points
—Design a simple eight-bit microprocessor capable of doing basic mathematical functions – 4 points
—Do a structural analysis and determine the maximum safe wind velocity upon a 62-story building – 5 points
—Drive a train – 6 points
—Describe the method of grafting DNA strains to help increase disease tolerance of soybeans – 5 points
25) The show was flawless, the audience mesmerized, spontaneous cheers and standing ovations. You’re standing at the sound board and the thought running through your mind is:
—Man, my job sucks, can’t wait to get to the bus – 3 points
—Wish I had a nine-to-five desk job with a suit and tie – 5 points
—Man, if my mom had only bought me guitar, I could be up there – 2 points
—Wonder if McDonald’s is hiring? – 4 points
—If only I had five more inputs! – 7 points
—Well, maybe this sound thing ain’t so bad after all – 1 point
Congratulations, you’re done!
Now, tally up the total score, and here’s how you rate:
50 – 55 total points: Congratulations, you’re a Mix Master! Somehow your keen sense of the obvioius combined with an in depth awareness of the nuances of the auditory profession has allowed you to navigate your way to being a Mix Master. You are on the right track and somehow figured out that all you hear is not to be believed. Good luck and congratulations!
56 – 65: Oh you Rock Star. The shiny lights, the cheering crowds, if only the sound board was center stage. Darn – if only mom had put you in guitar lessons instead of Little League. Well, at least this sound gig lets you wear a bunch of cool laminates and rock out to the hits!
66 – 75: So you’re from the Old School. Been there and done that ,and it’s not how we did it on Floyd tour. Well you can always turn it up a bit and go for a glory pose. These dang new PA’s are getting really tiny though – what happened to the good old days when it took six guys to lift a real speaker cab?
76 – 95: There are worse things than being Engineerically Challenged (see below). We can’t all be the brightest mic in the road case, and we’re all bound to get a little confused every once in a while. You may want to touch up a bit on the technical side, especially if you’ve been at this sound thing for more than a year or so.
96 – 115: As a Techno Nerd, you’ve gotta love those spec sheets and owners manuals. The complexities of striving for the perfect sound is a challenge that can keep you occupied forever, and sometimes, it can be overdone a bit. This is a highly technical field. but no amount of technology will overcome the subjective aspect of sound. Never forget that in the sound world, perfection is only an opinion.
116 – 130: Hey Cool Cat. Groupies, beer, tunes and a paycheck – what more could you want? You most likely didn’t choose this line of work to be bored and get to have some fun… Or you may as well get a real job. Hopefully you’ve got some crazy good mixing skills as a balance, or you’re gonna wind up working clubs when you’re 50. But at least you’re having fun!
131-plus: Ahhhh, the elusive “Trying Too Hard” award. You need the newest, the biggest, the most expensive of everything you can get, regardless if you know how it works (or not). Whether it’s a certain personal deficiency that causes you to try too hard in other ways, or you’re just having fun burning someone else’s cash, be aware of what you really look like when calling the shots.