Several years ago, we featured pro audio Haiku (here) and decided it might be fun to visit the topic again. You may remember learning about Haiku in grade school.
Basically, Haiku is a short form of Japanese poetry usually written in three phrases of 5, 7 and 5 syllables. There are some other “rules,” but let’s not worry about that now, especially given the challenges of the present times.
Thanks to Craig Leerman, who asked the gang in the Live Audio Board (LAB) on ProSoundWeb to come up with their own Haikus, and you’ll see others offered by some of the editorial team. Here are some of the results, and no worries that a few may not conform to the 5-7-5 rule – they’re still funny. (And let’s face it, we can all use a laugh these days…)
Brian Bolly –
Streaming is the norm
Headphone mixes are boring
Bring back big PA
Coffee coffee hey
Why is everyone on mute
Oops I spilled coffee
Zoom, Teams, Skype and Meet
Why is my connection slow?
Need more bandwidth now
It’s been a long year
My friends are out of work too
When will gigs return?
Russell Ault –
Squiggles too wiggly
Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Smooth
Fairytale data
Milt Hathaway –
Just like a mirage
Events on my calendar
Get closer, then: Poof
My warehouse is full
My bank accounts are empty
Thanks, 2020
Punters used to ask
“Do you know what those knobs do?”
Now I ask myself
Look on the bright side
No crazy outdoor events
No weather worries
Michael Lawrence –
What’s this button do?
Please don’t post on the forum.
Read the manual
Samantha Potter –
Please don’t cup that mic
It sounds so garbled and boxy
Bad! Bad! No cuppy
High-pass those inputs
Don’t ever skip it my friend
Low-end build-up – yuck
Phase is dependent
Polarity is not
Stop mixing them up
Keith Clark –
The right system tilt?
Why are vocals coming out
Of the subwoofers?
Trying to learn Smaart
What do little squiggles mean?
Hard to get Smaarter
Team Effort:
Jim Yakabuski
His name fills first line of Haiku
That’s how cool he is
You like your console
Analog or digital?
Whatever works best
Too few frequencies
Need a bandplan that will work
Back to the spreadsheet
You want special mic?
But yours already works great
OK, genius
IEMs for all
Stage wedges can be clumsy
Get with the program
Don’t care about wireless
Just turn it on and it works
Until it does not
Find more pro audio Haiku on the LAB thread here.