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Career Calling: Are You Qualified To Be An Audio Engineer?

A simple test compiled from experience, using the latest auto-psycho-algorithms...

By Ken DeLoria February 25, 2019

Image courtesy of John DiLiberto

Take this simple test. Carefully compiled from decades of experience and using the latest auto-psycho-algorithms, it will provide guidance in your career choice.

1. Do you show up on time?

Yes.
Go to question 2.

No.
Try getting one of those “work from home” jobs where you make $5,000 a week stuffing envelopes. Good luck!

2. Do you like to work with a wide range of personality types?

Yes.
Go to question 3.

No.
Pursue a career in broadcast, where you can stay in the broadcast truck all day and night.

3. Do you like music?

Yes.
Go to question 4.

No.
Get a gig with Justin Bieber. Or become a truck driver. They usually sleep during the show.

4. Does the thought of letting down 60,000 fans because you didn’t plan the sound system properly disturb you?

Yes.
Become a surgeon.

No. 
Become a politician.

Maybe. Most of the fans will still get good sound, right?
“You’re going to be O.K., son.”

5. Is life on the road attractive to you?

Yes.
Get that tool kit and gig bag together!

No.
Seek work in theatre, broadcast, studios, clubs, or other fixed locations. Alternatively, practice saying this phrase: “Would you like fries with that?”

6. Do you like using microphones?

Yes.
Consider a career in aviation.

No.
Buy a few anyway. The mic companies need you, and shiny mics can look quite fetching in a display case.

7. Can you function optimally after 48 hours without sleep?

Yes.
You’re hired. Can you get a commercial driver’s license too, please?

No.
Consider a career as a mattress tester.

8. Do you like Marriott and Hilton hotels?

Yes.
Consider a job in the hospitality industry.

No.
Good. Do you like Holiday Inn?

Yes.
Consider working as a night auditor.

No.
Good. Do you like Motel 6?

Yes.
You’re hired.

9. Do you prefer analog or digital consoles?

Analog.
Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Digital.
Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Whatever you have in stock.
Good. You’re hired.

10. How will you feel when a tour manager/artist/promoter tells you that you’re lousy at your job?

I’d feel bad.
Look for an easier gig like parole officer or personal assistant to a tyrant.

I couldn’t care less.
You’re a natural, kid! Welcome aboard.

If you answered “Yes” or “No” to more than any five questions, you’re ready to enter the lucrative world of professional audio.


About Ken

Ken DeLoria
Ken DeLoria

Over the course of more than four decades, the late Ken DeLoria tuned hundreds of sound systems, and as the founder of Apogee Sound, he developed the TEC Award-winning AE-9 loudspeaker.

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