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TEACHIN'
Ya learn by doing. Seems simple enough, but you’ve gotta spell
it out for some people.
Hello oldman sir,
W HAT’S UP, SIR GREG?
Just wondering, how would you go about teaching the craft of live
sound to a person who has no experience?
FROM OLDEN TIMES UNTIL NOW AND FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE, ACTUAL WORK
AT THE GIG IS THE VERY BEST WAY TO TEACH THEM.
ISN’T THAT HOW YOU YOURSELF LEARNED, GREG?
HAVE THEM START OUT WRAPPING CABLES AND JUST FOLLOWING YOU AROUND AS
YOU PROCEED THROUGH YOUR SHOW DAY.
THEN TEACH THEM HOW TO PLUG IN MICS, AND PATCH THE SPLIT.
THEN START SHOWING THEM HOW A CONSOLE WORKS.
AFTER THAT, INITIATE THEM INTO THE JOYS AND CHALLENGES OF GRAPHIC AND
PARAMETRIC EQUALIZERS, AND THEM DARN EFFECTS BOXES.
LEARNING THIS STUFF IN A SCHOOL IS HELPFUL, BUT IT IS BETTER THAT THEY
SEE WHAT CLODS AND BUFFOONS MUSICIANS CAN BE, RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
I work in a club that features live bands six nights a week during
the summer, and bands three nights a week in the offseason--(yes, the
club I work at is on the east coast - beach).
DO YOU EVER GET TO EAT DELICIOUS FRESH SEAFOOD?
My problem is that I have no other sound tech that can step in if
I get sick or get blindsided by an angry lead singer.
IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, I QUIT WORKING AT A VENUE THAT SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS,
DUE TO BEING ASSAULTED BY A LEAD SINGER. THE WORST PART IS, I WAS RECUPERATING
FROM AN INJURY SUSTAINED IN AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT, SO I COULDN’T
REALLY MIX IT UP WITH HIM.
THE STAGE RIGHT GUITARIST KEPT SLAMMING HIS BOOM STAND AND MIC TO THE
FLOOR, SO I WENT OUT FROM BEHIND THE MONITOR BOARD AND BEGAN TO REMOVE
IT. THE NEXT THING I KNEW, I WAS SPRAWLED IN THE CORNER, THE BIG SINGER
OAF HAD DONE A FOOTBALL BLOCK ON ME.
THE GEEK OUT FRONT (WHEN THE OWNER OF ANOTHER CLUB THAT I WORKED AT
BOUGHT THIS PARTICULAR CLUB, HE UNWISELY RETAINED SOME OF THE PREVIOUS
STAFF, DESPITE THE PROTESTS OF MYSELF AND OTHER WORKERS, WHO WARNED
HIM THEY WOULD NOT BE LOYAL TO US) WOULD NOT TURN THE SYSTEM OFF.
I WENT TO THE PRODUCTION MANAGER LATE THAT NIGHT AND INFORMED HIM THAT
(A) I WOULD NOT BE WORKING THERE ANY LONGER, AND (B) HE WOULD NOW GIVE
ME A COPY OF A SECRET VIDEO I SHOT OF A BIG-NAME BAND THAT HE PREVIOUSLY
HAD WITHELD FROM ME.
I CONTINUE TO ENJOY THAT VIDEO TO THIS DAY. ALL ALONE, I WAS RUNNING
A CAMERA ON A TRIPOD, A VIDEO SWITCHER, A SECOND ROBOT CAMERA MOUNTED
NEARBY, AND THEN A THIRD FIXED ONE NEAR THE STAGE THAT LOOKED LIKE A
7-11 SURVEILLANCE PICTURE.
MY MIX OF THE THREE CAMERAS (AND EFFECTS) WAS A MASTERPIECE. ORSON
WELLES HAS GOT NOTHING ON ME!
I do have one person who is very interested in learning live sound
but has no experience.
CLING TO THAT PERSON, GREG.
DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY!
Should I tell this person to run far away from our profession or
should I tell him to get into the whole biz?
THEY’RE ALREADY INTERESTED, RIGHT?
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU ARE CONNING THEM INTO ANYTHING.
What is the best way to train this person?
YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION ALREADY.
The club that I work at has a policy of no soundchecks--only line
and monitor checks 15 to 20 minutes prior to showtime.
NOW THAT IS SCANDALOUS! AND HEINOUS!
HOW DO THEY EXPECT YOU TO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL SOUND SCULPTURE?
Great place with a awesome system--hey oldman—you’re
invited down here--free room and board!
TO DO THAT, I WOULD HAVE TO GIVE AWAY MY SECRET IDENTITY. THANKS, BUT
NO THANKS.
EAT SOME FRESH SEAFOOD FOR ME TONIGHT!
Thanks for any input you may have on this.
Greg
YOU’RE VERY WELCOME, GREG!
LUV –
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
