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STRAIGHT JOB
Our buddy Robert has succumbed to the lure of
a salary, and wonders why I don’t crank out more columns. There
are multiple reasons, but I elaborate on two for him.
Old Soundman …
ROBERT …
I have fallen to the depths of pro audio – after years of working
with bands doing outdoor festivals and indoor “pits of hell”,
I have done the unthinkable and taken a day job.
SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
LOOK ON THE GOOD SIDE!
NOW YOU HAVE BENEFITS AND MEDICAL COVERAGE,
CORRECT?
YOU ARE NO LONGER SUBJECT TO THE DREADED WINTER DROUGHT,
WHEN SHOWS DRY UP AND THE REST OF US STARVE.
Now, I sit on the phone with a headset in my ear all day, talking
to people about pro gear instead of actually operating it. I can assure
you, although it’s a steadier stream of income, it’s not
near as much fun.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE YOU WORK.
DOES IT KIND OF RHYME WITH “TEETER-TOTTER?”
I really enjoy your rants – in fact, it’s probably the
most exciting part of my day.
YOU’RE TOO KIND, ROBERT!
My question is this: with all due respect, why does it take you so
long to post new columns? We rely on your wisdom and expertise –
can we have more of it? Anxiously awaiting your reply…..
Robert
THERE
ARE SEVERAL REASONS, BUT FOR SAKE OF BREVITY, I WILL ADDRESS TWO.
ONE IS THAT WHEN I FIRST STARTED OUT SCRIBBLIN’ FOR PSW, EACH
COLUMN WAS JUST ONE LETTER. SOME
OF THEM WERE PRETTY SHORT, BUT NOBODY COMPLAINED.
AS THE YEARS
WENT BY, I STARTED TO TRY TO PACK MORE VALUE IN EACH ONE, AND AS YOU
HAVE PROBABLY WITNESSED, NOW I OFTEN INCORPORATE TWO LETTERS INTO ONE
COLUMN, WITH AN INTERESTING AND IMAGINATIVE FEW WORDS CONNECTING THEM,
MORPHING THEM, SO TO SPEAK.
ALTHOUGH THIS PARTICULAR BATCH ONLY
HAS ONE LETTER PER COLUMN, BUT EACH ONE IS PACKED WITH POWERFUL NUTRITIONAL
VALUE!
THE OTHER REASON (AND I NEED TO TRY TO CONTROL MYSELF
HERE, BECAUSE I GET PRETTY STEAMED UP) IS THAT FOR EVERY NICE YOUNG
SOUNDMAN LIKE YOURSELF THAT WRITES IN, I GET COUNTLESS LETTERS ASKING
ME TO COMMENT ON OR RECOMMEND SPECIFIC MANUFACTURERS’ PRODUCTS.
HERE
IS ONE EXAMPLE:
I just started a new concert series at a new venue, a high school
auditorium without a useable sound system. I've got a sound guy who
is just starting out and more in tune to recording than amplification.
He's got some equipment but after our first show, bands told me we need
better stage monitors and low end dumps. The auditorium seats about
500 and I want them (and the bands) to go home happy. Can you tell me
specifically what we should get, or rent?
I HAVE SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AT LEAST 500 TIMES - IN ORDER TO PRESERVE
MY NEUTRALITY IN THE EYES OF YOU PEOPLE, I CANNOT TALK ABOUT DIFFERENT
GEAR BY BRAND NAME OR MODEL NUMBER!
I CAN’T. CAN’T
CAN’T CAN’T.
BUT I STILL GET LETTERS LIKE THIS:
I am trying to help a small bar get a nice system without blowing
their budget through the roof. I am looking at the Mackie SA1232 box
and the Mackie SWA1801, pound for pound, watt for watt. I can’t
find anything else out there, that comes close on price or power. Once
again I have a very tight budget. They need something that is loud and
full range..in a room of about 500 capacity at 75x75 feet. For the first
phase they can only get 2 tops and 2 subs. Should they go for it or
get something cheap and lots of it. Have you heard both of those cabinets?
If only I could win the lotto! Thanks Soundman!
I TELL THESE MISGUIDED
PILGRIMS (AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE) TO TRY POSTING ON THE LAB OR THE LAB
LOUNGE. EVEN THOUGH OVER THERE IT’S A BUNCH OF IMMATURE OBSESSIVES
FONDLING THEIR WIRE-STRIPPERS IN SOME DANK HIDEAWAY, BY THE LIGHT OF
THE COMPUTER SCREEN.
ACCENT ON THE DANK, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
I
JUST GOT ONE TITLED:
“Is the EV Qrx series crap, or am I stupid?!”
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT?
“YES,
YOU’RE STUPID, IT’S GREAT.” OR …
“YES,
IT’S CRAP, YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR!”
DO YOU SEE MY DILEMNA,
ROBERT?
I TRY TO PRACTICE THE NONVIOLENCE THAT DR.
KING PREACHED.
LIKE GANDHI.
LIKE THE DALAI
LAMA.
BUT IT’S TOUGH. I WANT TO FREAK OUT LIKE THE
HULK!
SO
FAR, I HAVE CONTROLLED MYSELF.
BE PATIENT, MY FRIEND.
I’M
ALL ABOUT QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.
LUV –
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
