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Concert and Pictures
For some reason, our buddy Matt wrote in to me twice, with mostly the same wording, so I have taken the liberty of morphing his two missives into one. And, I am dismayed to report the return of the one and only Abdul-EQ ...
Hey Oldsound Man,
HEY, MATT!
I was recently at a concert for a very well known artist. As I do not have a firstborn (yet alone any born ...) child to be able to hand over for a good seat at a concert these days ... I was thrilled to stand for 3 hours listening to this very skilled artist.
DIDN'T YOUR FEET HURT?
MINE SURE WOULD HAVE!
While standing in a particular spot (right in front of the left main array about 150 ft. back) I noticed that the sound seemed to be cutting in and out. In what way, you might ask.
NOT JUST ME, ANYONE WOULD ASK THAT, MATT.
Well, it seemed as if the cymbals (and the rest of the high end) were cutting in and out, almost like the engineer was sweeping his low pass filter constantly.
MAYBE HE HAS THE MANUAL VERSION OF TOURETTE'S SYNDROME, AND HE CAN'T HELP HIMSELF.
DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?
At first I thought maybe he has compressed the overheads and it's set poorly... cause it did kinda sound like they were "pumping."
GOOD GUESS!
Maybe the gates were also set poorly (if used...) Then I thought "Maybe it's the redonkulous (redonkulous: adj. far surpassing the ridiculous) amount of humidity in the air diffusing the high end," seeing as Hurricane Charley's remains were passing over us that evening.
AH, THE ZESTY DELIGHT OF LEARNING A NEW WORD!
After several distracting and annoying minutes ... I moved to center ... besides the snare drum virtually disappearing, it seemed to stop this phenomenon. Can you shed some light on this for me?
AFTER MANY HOURS OF DEEP COGITATION, I HAVE DECIDED THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A SYSTEM-RELATED PHENOMENON, RATHER THAN A CHANNEL-RELATED ONE.
Thanks Old Soundman ... keep up the witty retorts, they keep hot shots like Sunil grounded!
Matt, perplexed in CT
IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU MENTION SUNIL. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIM RECENTLY. I THINK MAYBE I WAS TOO QUICK TO SAY THAT HE IS NOT A TERRORIST. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT, THE MORE I THINK HE MIGHT BE.
I AM GOING TO CALL THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY AND REPORT HIM AS A SUSPICIOUS PERSON!
SPEAKING OF TERRORISTS, I THOUGHT I WAS FREE FROM BEING PESTERED BY THE SHAME OF THE ARAB WORLD, THE DASTARDLY DEMON KNOWN AS ABDUL EQ. BUT HE'S BACK AGAIN!
Dear OSM,
Abdul seeks your advice. Once again, he is in a predicament.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
You know that Abdul has not always been The King of Karaoke. At one point he toured. One of the artists he worked with was a teen pop singer that has since matured. She is no longer musically relevant and her career has changed.
I NOTICED YOU DON'T SAY HOW.
IT HAS TAKEN A SWAN DIVE, CORRECT?
It seems other things have changed too and therein lies my predicament. There's a pictorial spread in one of this month's mens' magazines. At the time, Abdul never would have thought of looking but things are different now.
YOU MEAN SHE HAS SOME CHEST-AREA DEVELOPMENT NOW?
So OSM, do you think it's professionally correct if Abdul now has a look? Non-disclosure is apparently a non-issue for her now.
With love,
Abdul-EQ
HELP YOURSELF, YOU CAMEL-RIDER!
I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO ACTUALLY GET AN ERECTION AND MASTURBATE!
WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, ALLAH DAMNING YOU TO HELL.
I WILL BE HAPPY TO GIVE ALLAH $100 TO DO THAT!
LUV –
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
