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PROBLEMS IN CANADA
From the town that gave us the mighty Calgary
Stampede, comes our questioner Chad. He has an idea for a new venture
to rectify some unfortunate local audio realities.
Old Sound Man,
WHAT?
My name is Chad, and I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
I HAVE ONLY BEEN TO CALGARY
ONCE IN MY LIFE.
I FOUND IT TO BE A LOVELY, VERY CLEAN, CITY.
YOU ARE FORTUNATE TO RESIDE THERE.
DO YOU HATE AMERICANS?
I play in a band (classic rock)
YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY.
MAN,
I DESPISE THAT STUFF!
DID YOU KNOW THAT IN OUR MIDWEST THERE
ARE ACTUALLY RADIO STATIONS THAT PLAY NOTHING BUT THAT AROUND THE CLOCK?
STYX,
EDDIE MONEY, THE ROMANTICS – YUCK!
THERE IS ONLY ONE SONG FROM THAT ERA THAT I LIKE – “LIVIN’
IN AMERICA” BY
JAMES BROWN. NOW, THAT’S A ROCKIN’ TUNE!
THE OLD SOUNDWOMAN HATES
IT WHEN I START DANCING AROUND MY SHOP, WHILE LISTENING TO IT AT 110
DB, AND SINGING (WELL, BELLOWING) ALONG.
and would like some advice on the following.
LEAD ON, CHAD OLD BOY!
In Calgary, bands are a dime a dozen.
I HAVE FIFTY CENTS, I’LL TAKE
FIVE DOZEN.
Free shows or paid next to nothing shows are also very common. And
a lack of a venue PA is also common.
THAT IS
HORRIFYING!
I HAD NO IDEA THINGS HAD GOTTEN THAT BAD.
ISN’T
TRAYNOR GEAR PRETTY CHEAP UP THERE?
Most bands will rent some equipment and set it up.
THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT,
CHAD!
They know nothing about anything when it comes to sound reinforcement.
BUT, DO THEY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NOTHING?
Even if they are so fortunate to have someone do sound for them,
the results are the same. Shrilling sound, feedback, just terrible!
AREN’T
THERE LAWS AGAINST THAT?
CAN YOU STAGE A CANDLELIGHT VIGIL OR
SOMETHING?
Monitors are a luxury that no one has, they have a hard enough time
setting up the poor front of house sound.
REALLY,
YOU NEED TO CONTACT YOUR LOCAL ALDERMAN, CHAD!
To get to the point, I would like to start a company.
HENRY FORD SAID THAT
ONCE.
My idea is to start up "Nobody Famous Productions" offering
a reasonable solution to this problem. I would like to focus on bands
but offer my service to anyone. I would like to start out doing sound
reinforcement but expand the company to do live recording, lighting,
and promotions.
WHY NOT GET INTO SPRING WATER AND REBATES?
EVERYBODY
ELSE IS THESE DAYS.
WHY DOESN’T DANNON STICK TO MAKING
YOGURT?
Promotions being simple forms of posters, and flyers, as well as
Web design. I designed my band’s
site, all on my own.
I PARTICULARLY LIKE THE SUBTITLE ON THE ENTRANCE
PAGE: “LEARNING TO PARTY.”
DOESN’T SOUND LIKE
YOU’RE A TWELVE-STEPPER.
I’VE HEARD THEY HAVE SOME
PRETTY HUGE HYDROPONIC GROWING OPERATIONS UP THERE, CHAD.
THE
SHIRTLESS BASS PLAYER IS A PRETTY OLD GIMMICK, THOUGH.
What I wanted to know is if you have any advice, any at all! What
equipment do you recommend?
CHAD, MY BROTHER, YOU MUST NOT HAVE READ ANY
OF MY MULTIPLE STATEMENTS THAT I CANNOT SPEAK ABOUT SPECIFIC MANUFACTURERS’
PRODUCTS.
IT IS NECESSARY FOR ME TO SEEM OBJECTIVE TO ALL MY
CANADIAN READERS.
I INVITE YOU TO EXPLORE THE WORLD OF FORUMS
HERE ON PSW, THE LAB AND THE LAB LOUNGE. BELIEVE ME, YOU’LL FIND
DOZENS OF CITIZENS READY TO GIVE YOU THEIR (SOMETIMES QUITE DELUDED)
TWO CENTS WORTH, WHEN YOU ASK YOUR QUESTION THERE.
What should I consider?
FIRST, CONSIDER GETTING THE BASS PLAYER A SHIRT.
THEN,
THERE IS YOUR INITIAL INVESTMENT
THEN THERE ARE YOUR PROJECTED
EARNINGS.
AND THEN HOW LONG YOU CAN SURVIVE OFF YOUR SAVINGS
IF YOUR PROJECTED EARNINGS DO NOT MATERIALIZE.
How did you get started?
HUMPING GEAR FOR RETARDED MUSICIANS THAT I FOOLISHLY
LOOKED UP TO.
I have a lot of this already thought out. I have some gear picked
out.
SEE, YOU DON’T NEED MY ADVICE.
I want to make this happen. If you would offer me some assistance,
I can send you more details.
HEY, WAIT A SECOND! ARE YOU ASKING ME
TO INVEST IN YOUR IDEA?
I’M LUCKY TO HAVE MONEY FOR GROCERIES.
YOU MUST HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH IMPRESARIOS LIKE DAVID
GEFFEN AND
IRVING AZOFF. THEY ARE SHORT GENTLEMEN, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THEM!
I plan to read mostly every thing on ProSoundWeb.com, what a gold mine
of information.
AH, THE POWERS THAT BE WILL
ENJOY HEARING THAT!
Thank you for your time,
Chad
YOU’RE
WELCOME, MY FRIEND OF THE NORTHLAND!
LUV –
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
