 The
Old Soundman has a
bad attitude. Always has, always will.
The nightclub he runs is out in the middle of nowhere,
in a state that he forbids us to mention. Rockabilly, folksters,
raprockers, world beaters, a-capella acts, they all play there,
and they are all blown away by his laboriously tweaked-to-perfection
sound system. The Old Soundman presides over the scene, chewing
on his cigar, kicking back in his overstuffed chair.
The Old Soundman knows all, and is accepting your questions. Go
ahead. Ask him what's
troubling you in your heart of hearts. He understands people,
venues, gear, sound companies and musicians. He just wants to
help. Honest.
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Egos and Feedback, Stage Volume and Guitars, Concert and Pictures, Huge Rooms and ZDM
A very strange occurrence at a concert, questions about equalization, discussing of the best way to manage low end in big rooms, a fan of ZDM writes in, and the distasteful return of Abdul-EQ!
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Insults and Evil DJ, Incompetence and Compressors, Hypnotists and Therapy, Unions and Sheds
- Somebody has a big mouth; a DJ is taking a hard-working soundman on a hellride; a kid finally indicts the skills of his own generation; EQ and compression knowledge sought; a band ignores their own soundman; a young pilgrim wants to tour; slang-dictionary-r-us; plus a fan letter and an apology from the OSM to someone in Germany - in German!
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Problems in Canada, ZDSSM,
Straight Job, Teachin'
- There's trouble in the Northlands, namely lack of gear in the
first place, then shrill feedback even when there is gear, but
a local has a bright idea; somebody thinks he can improve on the
OSM's legendary ZDM Protocol, but has some really puzzling ways
of expressing himself; another noble soundman bit the dust, but
still has the nerve to ask a question about the OSM's productivity;
lastly, how do you school a beginner soundman?
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Girlfriends & Wagering, Death
& Kick Drums, Kissing and Cabinets,
Bartender & Drummer: Significant
others are hassling hard-working soundmen, why we just go away
and never die, the ups and downs of drum and bass sounds, a rockin’
club in the Midwest with a wall of speakers, complicating your
mix with more than one mic on a cabinet, a meddling DJ, and a
drummer who is forced to also be a soundman.
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Anonymity, High
Schoolers, Urban Myths and Smokin’,
Coloring and Crap: People keep pestering
the OSM about the strangest things – compression before
or after EQ, where the heck a guitar mic is supposed to go, which
is better, d.i. or mic for bass, someone’s Pavlovian association
between a console and chain-smoking, and of course the one reader
who can’t seem to understand that anonymous means ... anonymous!
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|  Fans’N’Spam,
Gates’N’Mom's PT. 2, Deep
Questions, Freaky Frequencies–
Like every other cybernaut the world over, the OSM is drowning
under the despicable tsunami of spam. Also, you got your ducking,
you got your keying, the legendary Mom’s Board will not
die, and two philosopher kings are nodding off in the corner,
right next to a nut who wants to shoot bluegrass musicians!
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