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Single Point Source
MY MAN THOMAS DAVID (IS THAT A BIBLICAL ENOUGH NAME, OR WHAT?)
HAS A QUESTION THAT I AM PERFECTLY SUITED TO ANSWER.
WE CURRENTLY HAVE A SINGLE POINT SOURCE (SPEAKER CLUSTER)
IN OUR CHURCH AND ARE IN THE PROCESS OF UP GRADING OUR SYSTEM
USING THE SAME FORMAT. DO YOU THINK SINGLE POINT SOURCE IS
BEST IN THIS TYPE OF VENUE (CHURCH)?
THOMAS DAVID
THERE IS A LOT TO RECOMMEND A SINGLE POINT SOURCE, THOMAS
DAVID. THE REASON THAT MONO CENTER CLUSTERS HAVE A BAD NAME
TODAY IS THAT SO MANY OF THEM SOUNDED LIKE CRAP. THEY WERE
CROSSED OVER WRONG, AND HAD HORNS MADE OUT OF RECYCLED TIN
CANS. THEY DIDN’T PROJECT, AND THEIR LOW END SOUNDED
LIKE SOMEONE SHOUTING THROUGH A PAIR OF DIRTY OVERALLS.
HEY, YOU AREN’T T.D. JAKES IN DISGUISE, ARE YOU? BECAUSE
YOUR INITIALS ARE T.D., AND I KNOW A LOT OF FUGITIVES, AND
PEOPLE IN WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAMS, CHOOSE NEW NAMES WITH
THE SAME INITIALS AS THEIR OLD ONES. I’M NOT CALLING
MR. JAKES A CRIMINAL, BY ANY MEANS!
MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE,
DO NOT SEND IN LETTERS THAT ARE ALL IN CAPS! THAT IS MY GROOVE,
SMOOTH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
I CAN’T HEAR YOU, SOUNDMAN!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND OR NOT?!
GOOD. DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.
MANY CHURCHES GO FOR THE LCR SETUP, WHEREBY YOU HAVE THREE
GROUPS OF SPEAKERS, SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR NEXT TO EACH OTHER,
LIKE FLYING NUNS OR THE MONKEY SOLDIERS IN THE WIZARD OF OZ.
YOU WANT TO BE SURE THAT, IF YOU TURN OFF ANY TWO SETS OF
SPEAKERS, THE ONE REMAINING IS STILL AIMED TO COVER THE ENTIRE
AUDIENCE. I THINK THE THEORY OF THIS IS THAT WHEN ALL THREE
ARE ACTIVE, YOU HAVE REDUNDANT COVERAGE, AND EACH SET CAN
BE RUN AT A PLEASANTLY LOW VOLUME AND BATHE THE PEOPLE WITH
AUDIO INFORMATION IN A NON-OVERDRIVEN FASHION.
I KNOW, LOTS OF READERS ARE WONDERING WHY I AM NOT GOING OFF
ON YOU, MOCKING YOU, MAKING FUN OF YOUR RELIGION, RUNNING
THROUGH THE SANCTUARY LIKE A JUVENILE DELINQUENT. WELL, NUMBER
ONE, THAT WOULD BE A LOW CLASS THING TO DO, BUT I ALSO HAVE
A MORE SELFISH REASON. IT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROVIDED
ME WITH A PERFECT OPENING TO BRING UP MY ZONED DUAL MONO CONCEPT,
THE ZDM
PROTOCOL!
AND NOT JUST TO BLOW MY OWN HORN, BUT TO MAKE A SERIOUS STATEMENT
THAT ALL THE BIG DESIGNERS WILL BACK ME UP ON. ZDM IS THE
WAY TO GO!
BUT, I WOULD BE REMISS IN MY DUTIES IF I DID NOT ALSO TELL
YOU THAT, DUE TO THE ADVANCES IN DELAY TECHNOLOGY, AND MEASUREMENT
SYSTEMS, OVER THE PAST TWO DECADES, IN WHATEVER CONFIGURATION
YOU CHOOSE (ALL THE WHILE KNOWING THAT ZONED DUAL MONO IS
THE MOST SENSIBLE AND ECONOMICAL CHOICE, TOM DAVE) MAKE SURE
THAT EVERYTHING IS DELAYED TO THE STAGE, LIKE TO THE PODIUM,
OR THE AREA WHERE THE CHOIR AND YOUR PRAISE BAND ARE LOCATED.
THIS WILL RESULT IN A BLESSED LACK OF CONFLICTING INFORMATION
SLAPPING OFF THE WALLS AND CEILING OF YOUR SANCTUARY. EVERYTHING
WILL GO ON THE ONE, AS GEORGE CLINTON WOULD SAY, ALTHOUGH
THE LIKES OF HIM EVER PERFORMING AT YOUR CHURCH ARE PROBABLY
CLOSE TO ZERO.
DO YOU WEAR DREADLOCKS INTERWOVEN WITH COLORED THREADS, THOMAS?
I THOUGHT SO! YOU RASCAL!
LUV
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
