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Popcorn
I BET THIS GUY "J.K." IS OVER FORTY! HE COMES OUT SLUGGIN'!
Dear Old Soundman,
I have been perplexed by the bands and SR personnel, let's even
out the blame after all, who go into some fine old "music hall"
or "opera house" and crank the bejesus out of it.
Considering these "temples" were designed for the
un-amplified voice to be heard throughout the room! Granted, they
were to use "stage volume voice" but certainly not a raft
of Crowns, huge speaker arrays,Marshall stacks, SVT's and enough
stage volume to fill a hockey arena.
YOU TELL 'EM, J.K.! USE YOUR STAGE VOLUME VOICE!
BREATHE!
LET ME SEE YOUR WAR FACE!
It really brings it on home
DOESN'T IT?
HEY, YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE WHITE GUYS WHO SAYS "I GOTS TO" - ARE YOU?
when the band strikes up and the patrons are rushing the concession stand, ordering hot buttered popcorn, throwing away the popcorn and stuffing the extra napkins given in their ears, AND the resident rodents are taking to the streets in biblical proportion.
ARE YOU A FRIEND OF CHUCK HESTON'S?
PERSONALLY, I THROW AWAY THE NAPKINS, AND STUFF THE POPCORN IN MY EARS! I THOUGHT EVERYBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
What can be done?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I SENSE YOU ARE JUST THE GUY TO DO IT, J.K.!
As a start, lord knows the backline should be restricted to 20 watts or less per person, and solid drum sticks outlawed unless you can demonstrate adequate restraint. How could we achieve this in the land of the free?
HAVE THE PRESIDENT DISTRIBUTE FREE BLASTICKS AND HOT RODS.
(OFF-TOPIC DRUM WORLD REFERENCE, SORRY.)
Can common sense be legislated and enforced?
NEGATIVE.
Still have napkin remnants in my auditory canals.
YOU KNOW, ONCE UPON A TIME I HAD THE HONOR OF ESCORTING A LOVELY SONGSTRESS TO A SHOW ON THE FIRST U.S. TOUR BY THE PRETENDERS. WHOEVER WAS MIXING THAT NIGHT HAD A REAL BONE TO PICK WITH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. HALFWAY THRU THE FIRST SONG, MY FRIEND SCREAMED IN PAIN, BUMMED A CIGARETTE FROM THE PERSON NEXT TO HER, PULLED OFF THE ORANGE PAPER, RIPPED THE FILTER IN HALF, AND STUCK IT IN HER EARS.
I COULDN'T REALLY HANG WITH THAT, SO I MADE IT THRU THE WHOLE CONCERT AU NATUREL, AND REMEMBER RIDING AWAY IN HER FOUR BY FOUR, WITH THE WHOLE AUDIBLE SPECTRUM JUST A LITTLE BIT OFF, FROM THE CONCUSSION.
MY GUESS IS THE GUY WOULD PROUDLY SAY LOOK, I MADE IT MEMORABLE FOR YOU! WELL, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS MUSICALLY MEMORABLE ABOUT 9 DB DOWN FROM WHERE HE WAS BLASTING AT.
With great respect
Sincerely,
J.K.Constantine
AND, J.K., RESPECT TO YOU! STAY MAD, BUDDY! FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
