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Picking and Choosing
I don’t think this is from the original LL Cool J. This
other LL we have here needs to learn that you can’t
put 100 prisoners in a correctional system bus made for 40.
Watch as I reason gently with him …
Old Soundman,
WELCOME, LL!
Please help, I currently run sound for an eight-piece group
that includes a three-piece horn section. My problem is not
getting a good clear sound; either I get the rhythm section
to sound good, and the vocals and horns sound like crap, or
vice-versa. Whenever any one group sounds good, the others
don’t.
I HAVE SERMONIZED ABOUT THIS BEFORE!
WERE YOU PLAYING HOOKY THAT DAY, OR WHAT?
WHAT YOU ARE FACING IS A NEED TO RUTHLESSLY PRIORITIZE.
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE BAND TO AMPLIFY?
OKAY, PUT THAT UP.
WHAT IS THE NEXT MOST IMPORTANT THING?
NOW PUT THAT UP.
CONTINUE IN THAT MODE UNTIL – AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
– THINGS START SOUNDING CLUTTERED AND UNCLEAR. THEN
BACK UP, BACK TO THE POINT WHEN IT WAS STILL CLEAR, AND STOP
RIGHT THERE, LL!
I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE QUIVERING WITH FRUSTRATION!
I DON’T CARE IF YOUR FISTS ARE CLENCHED AND YOU ARE
HYPERVENTILATING! BITE THE BULLET, LL!
THIS IS REALITY. THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IN YOUR LIFE
AS A SOUNDMAN.
YOU HAVE “X” AMOUNT OF SPEAKERS, YOU HAVE “Y”
AMOUNT OF AMPS AND X PLUS Y IS ONLY EVER GOING TO EQUAL X
PLUS Y!
YEAH, I KNOW YOU WISH YOU HAD SOME BIG ARENA RIG, BUT LL,
YOU DON’T! EVERY GUY DOWN AT THE LAKE IN HIS BASS
BOAT WISHES HE HAD AN EIGHTY FOOT YACHT LIKE AN INTERNATIONAL
ARMS
DEALER, BUT HE DOESN’T! HE HAS HIS LITTLE PUTT-PUTT,
AND LL, THAT’S OKAY!
I use a (MIXING BOARD DELETED) a (BRAND NAME
DELETED) 31 band eq, (EFX BOXES DELETED) for effects,
(POPULAR LOW-PRICED AMP MANUFACTURER DELETED) for mids
and highs (set at 50%) (MID-PRICED AMP MANUFACTURER DELETED
(100%) for lows, (BUDGET NAME) xover (lows
set at 200hz) mid/hi set to (2000hz.) Speakers are (MANUFACTURER
NAME AND MODEL NUMBER DELETED.)
WHEN IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SOUND CHILDREN GOING TO LISTEN TO
THE OLD MAN HERE? NO BRAND NAMES! NO BRAND NAMES!
I CANNOT COMMENT ON BRANDS! I AM YOUR ONLY RECOURSE IN A WORLD
FULL OF HYPE AND CO-OPTED CRETINS WHO ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING
KICKBACKS FROM SOUND COMPANIES AND MANUFACTURERS!
EVERYBODY WANTS TO SELL YOU SOMETHING, EXCEPT ME!
NOW LOOK AT LL’S NEXT SENTENCE, THAT IS SOMETHING I
CAN RESPOND TO!
Lows don’t come thru very well, and I tend to get
loud, but because the sound is not all that great, the louder
it gets the worse it sounds.
TRIM IT BACK THE WAY I DESCRIBED. A WELL-PROPORTIONED MIX
SOUNDS GOOD LOUD OR SOFT.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DO NOT THINK YOU HAVE AN ADJUSTABLE HI-PASS
FILTER ON YOUR CONSOLE. ALL YOU CAN DO IS REDUCE THE LF RESPONSE
ON CHANNELS THAT DO NOT NEED A LOT OF LOW END.
BASS MANAGEMENT, LL! BASS MANAGEMENT!
One of the things I have thought of doing is to not EQ
the mains in series with the main out, but to patch it in
thru a main insert. Will this help?
NO.
(NOW SOME HAM
RADIO ENTHUSIAST FROM THE
LIVE AUDIO BOARD WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS GOING TO FLY
HIS RADIO-CONTROLLED HELICOPTER
OVER MY HOUSE, WITH THE MIDGET PILOT HOLLERING AT ME THROUGH
A TINY MEGAPHONE!
DAMN YOU DILETTANTES!
DO YOU THINK I GO TO VEGAS AND PRACTICE SHOOTING MACHINE
GUNS JUST FOR FUN?
YOU LAB GUYS BETTER WATCH YOUR STEP!)
I have the effects returns patched back thru a channel.
Should I change this?
NO. HAVING THEM IN A CHANNEL IS ACTUALLY THE SUPERIOR AND
PREFERABLE METHOD.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THE EFFECTS RETURNS CHANNELS –
RUN A CD AND TURN THEM UP LOUDER THAN YOU NORMALLY WOULD -
AND EQ THEM TO TAKE OUT ANY METALLIC SOUNDING ARTIFACTS,
OR MUDDLED LOW END.
Do/should I be using a sonic maximizer, compressor/limiter?
YER KILLIN’ ME!
SURE! BUY TEN OF ‘EM!
Do I need more power?
OF COURSE YOU DO! EVERYBODY NEEDS MORE POWER!
BUT YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, CAN YOU, OR ELSE YOU WOULD
HAVE IT ALREADY!
Should I run my lows in bridged mode to utilize more power?
TALK TO THE ROCKET SCIENTIST YOU BOUGHT THE AMP FROM.
By the way we usually do small clubs. Seat approx. 75-150
people.
QUIT TRYING TO BE LIKE THE STUDIO GUYS.
ADMIT THE LIMITATIONS OF THE SYSTEM.
Please help, I’m in desperate need of help.
Thanx –
LL
LL, I HAVE HONESTLY DONE EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF TO HELP
YOU.
EXCEPT FOR THAT CRACK ABOUT SONIC MAXIMIZERS, I GUESS.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW LARGE A TOWNSHIP YOU LIVE IN, BUT IF THERE
IS ANY WAY YOU CAN WORK FOR A SOUND COMPANY, OR A BIGGER VENUE,
AND LEARN SOME MORE METHODOLOGIES, THAT WOULD BE AN IDEAL
WAY FOR YOU TO GO.
BUT MY ADVICE STILL STANDS. DO NOT TRY TO CARRY A GORILLA
ON A SKATEBOARD.
DO NOT THROW SPEARS
AT A DART
BOARD. DON’T PLAY SOCCER WITH A WEATHER
BALLOON!
LUV
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
HEY, WE GOT A FOLLOW-UP TRIVIA QUESTION FROM OUR PAL JIM:
Hi Old Soundman -
I just read your conversation with Todd and Coydog. So what
happened next? Did Todd give up his law career and his suit
and tie and end up barefoot on the streets of Tijuana, or
with a begging bowl in San Francisco?
And did he give his pinstripe suit and the George F. Will
suspenders and the red tie - and the obligatory polished wingtips
(you didn't mention those) - to Coydog? Or did Todd get your
point and stick with his upper class identity?
- Jim
GOOD QUESTION, JIM! AND THE WINGTIPS ARE A NICE TOUCH, YOU
ARE A VERY OBSERVANT YOUNG MAN.
FOR THOSE THAT DON’T RECALL, I KEELHAULED TODD
PRETTY GOOD A WHILE AGO.
REALLY I AM MORE CURIOUS ABOUT HIS ARCH-NEMESIS, THE NOBLE
COYDOG. THAT GUY ROCKED!
