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Guitar EQ
Dear Old Soundman,
I run sound for a band and am having trouble with the guitar mix.
The guitar seems to get lost (unintelligible) in the mix, but when
I turn it up a little the band claims it is overbearing (and yes I
am a
guitar player myself). Any suggestions?
Clyde
HELLO, CLYDE, OLD SOUL!
I PRESS MY FINGERTIPS TO MY TEMPLES. I PUT ON MY TURBAN. SOMEBODY
TURNS THE GIANT BOTTLE UPSIDE DOWN THAT I FLOAT WITHIN, AND THE
8-BALL ROTATES SLOWLY INTO VIEW BEARING YOUR ANSWER.
TWO LETTERS. EQ. I SENSE VERY CLEARLY THAT WHEN YOU TURN UP YON
GIT-TAR, UP COME SOME FUNKY FREQUENCIES. SINCE I AM NOT THERE WITH
YOU TO DIAGNOSE WHICH ONES ARE PLAGUING YOUR EMPLOYERS, YOU ARE
GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOME EXPERIMENTING.
SINCE YOU SAY YOU ARE RUNNING SOUND FOR A BAND, RATHER THAN FOR
A MAJOR SOUND COMPANY, I FEAR THAT YOU ARE LACKING ONE OF THOSE
MOST MAGIC OF WANDS, KNOWN AS THE ADJUSTABLE HIGH-PASS-FILTER (HPF.)
DOES YOUR BOARD HAVE NONE? MAYBE JUST A PUSH-BUTTON SHELVING VERSION,
NEAR THE TOP OF THE STRIP, LABELED 80 OR 100 HZ?
PUSH THAT IN, CLYDE. (IN FACT YOU SHOULD BE PUSHING IT IN PRETTY
MUCH EVERYWHERE EXCEPT BASS, KICK, KEYBOARD, AND FLOOR TOM, BUT
THAT IS A WHOLE ‘NOTHER SERMON.) ROCK BANDS GENERATE A DARK
ROILING FLOOD OF JUNK SOUND THAT WASHES AROUND THE FLOOR OF THE
STAGE THEY PLAY ON DOWN AT BARRY’S BEER SCHTUBE BUFFET. WHERE
IS YOUR GUITAR MIC, CLYDE? RIGHT DOWN IN IT! AM I RIGHT? YOU KNOW
IT, YOU BLAZING HOT CHICKEN PICKER, YOU.
SO STEP #1 IS TO STRIP AWAY THAT LOW STUFF. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY
HPF AT ALL, YOU MAY START VERY GENTLY ROLLING THE LOW FREQUENCY
KNOB DOWNWARD ON JOHNNY GUITAR’S CHANNEL. KEEP GOING UNTIL
IT SOUNDS CLEAR AND CHAINSAW-LIKE.
BUT WAIT! WHAT’S THIS? I SEE YOU, CLYDE, SO CLEARLY, IN MY
MIND’S EYE! YOU ARE THROWING YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND SHOUTING
“OLD MAN, THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM! THE GUY’S GUITAR
IS SO HIGH-ENDY THAT WHEN I TURN HIM UP, DOGS BEGIN TO BARK, ALL
OVER MY NEIGHBORHOOD!” WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO IN THE FIRST
PLACE, CLYDE?
WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY NEED IN THAT CASE IS A THING CALLED A PARAMETRIC
EQ. AND MAYBE YOU’VE GOT ONE! THAT IS THE INTERACTIVE PAIR
OF ADJUSTERS IN WHICH ONE HAS FREQUENCIES LISTED ON IT, AND ITS
PARTNER HAS +/- VARIOUS DB NUMBERS ON IT.
THE WAY TO SEEK AND DESTROY THE FREQUENCY IRRITATING YOUR BUDDIES
IS TO SET THE MINUS GUY AT LEAST HALFWAY DOWN, TO THE 9 O’CLOCK
POSITION (SINCE I DON’T THINK YOU ARE ON ONE OF JIM GAMBLE’S
DEMONIC BACKWARDS SCULPTURES, NEVER MIND, WHY DID I HAVE TO BRING
THAT UP!) SO THAT YOU ARE KNOCKING DOWN AT LEAST 6 DB.
THEN YOU HAVE HAIR BOY START PLAYING, WHILE YOU SLOWLY SWEEP YOUR
FREQUENCY SELECTER FROM AS LOW AS IT GOES, UP INTO THE HIGHER SLOPES
OF THIS MUSICAL EVEREST. WHEN YOU HIT THE TROUBLE SPOT, AND IT GOES
AWAY, YOU WILL FEEL A THRILL UNLIKE ANY YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN. GETTING
MARRIED, YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD, ALL THAT WAS COOL, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT,
CLYDE.
EVERYTHING SHIFTS INTO SLOW MOTION, THE SMOKE MACHINE FIRES UP,
THE DANCING GIRLS PRANCE OUT, AND THE OTHER GUYS TURN TO YOU, EYES
WIDE OPEN, SUDDENLY THEY SEE THAT YOU ARE A SOUNDMAN, NOT JUST SOME
GUY WHO IS THERE FOR THE FREE BEER. THEY SHOUT “THAT’S
IT! THAT’S IT!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?”
NOW, IF YOU ONLY HAVE FIXED FREQUENCY ROCKET TUNERS THERE, YOUR
JOB WILL BE MUCH MORE ARDUOUS. YOU WILL HAVE TO SEE HOW THE MIDS
AND THE HIGHS INTERACT WITH ONE ANOTHER. MANY, MANY, GUITARISTS
PLAY WITH RIDICULOUSLY ANGULAR AND PIERCING TONES, JUST TO HEAR
THEMSELVES OVER THE SONIC VOMIT THAT SURROUNDS THEM, GENERATED BY
THEIR DRUNKEN AMIGOS THRASHING AWAY ON THE BASS AND DRUMS, AND LITTLE
MISTER TOTALLY-OUT-OF-TUNE HOWLING THROUGH A BUNCH OF CRAPPY WEDGES.
BUT THE TREBLE THEY NEED UP THERE, BLASTING AT THE BACKS OF THEIR
ANKLES (WHICH IS WHERE MY EARS SURE ARE, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT
YOURS) IS UNGODLY PAINFUL THROUGH THE MAINS, SO OFTEN YOU WILL BENEFIT
FROM JUST ROLLING SOME – OKAY, A LOT OF - TOP END OFF THEIR
CHANNEL, IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PARAMETRICS.
HAVE I HELPED YOU? HAVE I ENTERTAINED YOU? HAVE YOU DECIDED TO SEEK
A CAREER IN BODY BUILDING, GO-KART RACING, EXOTIC MICROPHONE COLLECTING,
PRAIRIE DOG BREEDING, JAM BAND BOOTLEG SELLING, ANYTHING UNDER THE
SUN, EXCEPT TRYING TO HELP THESE BUFFOONS WITH THEIR SOUND?
IT’S NOT A WINNING PROPOSITION, CLYDE.
LUV
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
