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Wants To Go Studio
A reader who shall remain nameless is having a crisis of professional
identity. Let's see if we can get him to jump off the Empire State
Building.
Hi.
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING!
I wonder if you have any advice for me.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?
For several years, I have been working as a reinforcement soundman
in concerts.
WELL, THEN, WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!
I have reached a point were I am working with some of the famous
artists in my country.
HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED ANY GLAMOUR YET? BECAUSE I HAVE NOT, NO
MATTER HOW BIG THE ARTISTE I HAVE BEEN EMPLOYED BY.
I feel very secure and happy with my job.
SURE, BUDDY! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE WRITING TO ME, RIGHT?
The thing is, I would really would like to work in a recording
studio,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE!
MAKE UP YOUR MIND, I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!
but I am embarassed to start as a rookie in
one. (I am 30 years old.) I don't know how to make the move. Any
suggestions???
SELF MEDICATION, MAYBE? MEDITATION? THE WAYBACK
MACHINE?
YOU ARE AT A CROSSROADS, AND UNFORTUNATELY SINCE YOU ARE NOT ROBERT
JOHNSON, THE DEVIL WON'T OFFER YOU A DEAL.
THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO LOOK AT THIS. ONE IS, GIVE UP. COME TO GRIPS
WITH THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ABOUT THIRTEEN YEARS TOO LATE TO GET
OFF THE LAUNCHING PAD. I MEAN, WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WOULD
BE LIKE IF I SAID I AM GOING TO BE A ROCK STAR, NEXT YEAR.
THAT MIGHT FLY IN AFRICA, THEY HAVE DIGNITY FOR OLDER MALE MUSICIANS,
BUT OVER HERE, IT'S YOUNG, SKINNY AND OBEDIENT ALL THE WAY. WHY
DO YOU THINK MARIAH CAREY AND MATT DAMON ARE IN REHAB? HOW ABOUT
THAT GUY FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS WITH THE GODAWFUL WANNA-BE-PIMPIN'
FACIAL HAIR? SHEESH. I WOULD GET WASTED IF I LOOKED LIKE THAT, TOO,
WOULDN'T YOU?
TWO - YOU CAN PROCEED TO IGNORE THAT WHICH IS SENSIBLE AND SAFE.
IN DOING SO, YOU MAY EMANATE A CERTAIN CRAZY CHARISMA. STUDIO GUYS
PUT IN SOME INSANE HOURS, MAYBE THEY'LL SAY THIS GUY LOOKS NUTS
ENOUGH TO GIVE UP A REAL LIFE AND WORK WITH US.
A FRIEND OF MINE TELLS A STORY ABOUT A GUY WHO WANTED TO LEARN HOW
TO PLAY THE BIG CONCERT HARP.
ALL THE HARPISTS TOLD HIM THAT YOU HAVE TO START AS A CHILD, LIKE
OLYMPIC ATHLETES AND ANOREXIC BALLET DANCERS. SOMEONE GAVE HIM THE
NUMBER OF A WOMAN WHO HAD TAUGHT HARPO MARX. WHEN HE CALLED HER,
SHE ASKED HIM ONE QUESTION, "DO YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY
THE HARP?" HE SAID YES. SHE SAID "BE HERE AT 9 AM MONDAY
MORNING."
NOW, IS CHRIS STONE GOING TO SAY THAT TO YOU,
OR ANY OTHER MEGA-STUDIO OWNER? PROBABLY NOT. BUT NOTHING VENTURED,
NOTHING GAINED. BE WILLING TO MAKE AN ASS OF YOURSELF. WE DO NOT
NEED ANOTHER GUY IN THE LIVE SOUND BUSINESS WHO WISHES HE WAS SOMEWHERE
ELSE.
WHEN YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A RECORD PROJECT FOR
FOUR MONTHS WITH SOME CREEPS YOU HATE, THINK OF US, YOUR OLD COMPATRIOTS,
WHO ONLY DEAL WITH THAT BAND FOR A NIGHT OR TWO!
LUV
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
