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Generators
It seems to be a big month for church sound guys writing in,
who knows why. Here we have a unique young mixfellow who is ready
to step on a plane without knowing where the gig is! Man, I need
to talk some sense into this guy!
Hi Old Soundman!
HI, PAL!
I have recently gotten a gig with a Christian group that plays
in parts of Africa.
I SUPPORT MUSIC ALL OVER THE WORLD, MY FRIEND! BUT I WOULD ENCOURAGE
YOU NOT TO GO INTO ANY AREAS THAT ARE ENGAGED IN HEAVILY ARMED CONFLICT,
OR FOR THAT MATTER MERELY HACKING THE HEADS OFF MINORITY GROUPS
WITH MACHETES. DO YOU SEE HOW THOSE TYPE OF PHENOMENA COULD COMPLICATE
THE GOAL OF CREATING GOOD IMPORTED AUDIO?
They have been vague in where exactly they plan to go yet ...
THAT IS REALLY NOT GOOD! HAVE THEY ASKED YOU TO BUY A LARGE NUMBER
OF RADIO SHACK MEGAPHONES, OR ISSUED YOU SIDEARMS, SUCH AS THE DESERT
EAGLE, OR A GLOCK? THE "STREETSWEEPER" IS ALSO A NICE
PIECE.
... but it would most likely involve using generators to power
everything. What problems will using generators create, and how
will it hurt sound quality?
A GENERATOR THAT IS LARGE ENOUGH AND HAS A POWER OUTPUT CAPACITY
MORE THAN SUFFICIENT FOR YOUR SYSTEM DU JOUR WILL NOT HURT YOUR
SOUND. IN SOME WAYS, GENERATORS ARE PREFERABLE, TO GET YOU OFF THE
GRID WITH ALL ITS ATTENDANT IRREGULARITIES AND FLUCTUATIONS. BUT
THEY HAVE TO BE BIG ENOUGH!
I LOVE THE SOUND OF THE AMPLIFIERS DESIGNED BY MR. BOB CARVER,
BUT THEY ARE EXTREMELY UNFORGIVING IF YOU HOOK THEM UP TO POWER
FROM A "GENNY" (THAT IS THE LINGO YOU SHOULD USE, BY THE
WAY) THAT IS EITHER NOT PUTTING OUT ENOUGH VOLTAGE, OR IS NOT OSCILLATING
AT OUR STANDARD 60 HZ. YOU WILL START POPPING FUSES LEFT AND RIGHT.
I CAN TELL YOU FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT THIS CAN LEAD TO HAVING
TO CALL YOUR BOSS FROM THE SITE, AN HOUR BEFORE THE MAYOR AND BUSINESS
LEADERS SHOW UP, AND HAVE HIM DRIVE OVER MORE FUSES, WHILE YOU DESPERATELY
MAKE THE LOCALS RUN YOU 200' OF ORANGE EXTENSION CORD OUT FROM THE
BUILDING THEY ARE WAITING TO DEDICATE.
OF COURSE, IT ALSO HELPS TO TURN OFF HALF THE SYSTEM, THAT THE
COMPANY YOU WORK FOR HAS OVERSOLD TO THE GOVERNMENT CLIENT, AND
JUST RUN ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY GET THE JOB DONE.
LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT, AND SAY THAT YOU NOT
KNOWING GENNY TECHNOLOGY IS POTENTIALLY VERY DANGEROUS, FOR TWO
REASONS. NUMBER ONE, THE GENNY NEEDS TO BE PROPERLY MAINTAINED.
WILL YOU KNOW HOW TO INSPECT FOR THAT? DO YOU OWN A METER AND DO
YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT? THAT IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST, I AM NOT KIDDING
AROUND HERE.
SECONDLY, YOU MUST LOOK ALL OVER THE THING AND CHECK FOR WEIRD
LITTLE SWITCHES THAT CAN AFFECT HOW THE POWER IS SENT TO YOU. YOU
WILL BE IN AN AREA THAT FOR THE MOST PART USES BRITISH OR EURO POWER.
ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT? ARE YOU TAKING YOUR OWN AMERICAN GEAR OVER
THERE? IF THESE PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU WHERE YOU ARE GOING,
IS IT LIKELY THAT THEY WILL ARRANGE FOR YOU TO PROPERLY ADVANCE
THESE SHOWS BY PHONE, FAX OR E-MAIL?
BLOOD PRESSURE … RISING!
HAVE TO STOP … RANTING … AT YOU!
DOGS, COME HERE! I NEED YOU! STAY CLOSE TO ME …
NEED TO GET OLD SOUNDWOMAN TO MAKE … SPECIAL HERBAL REMEDY
…
HEY BUDDY? I DID MY BEST, BUT I GOTTA TAKE FIVE HERE, AS A SECULAR
MUSICIAN NAMED DAVE BRUBECK USED TO SAY.
LUV
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
