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IF I JUMPED OFF A CLIFF, WOULD YOU FOLLOW RIGHT AFTER ME,
BRAD??!!! NO, I DID NOT HOT ROD AN OLD PEAVEY CONSOLE FOR MY CLUB.
WE HAVE SOME PRETTY NICE DESKS IN HERE IF I SAY SO MYSELF. AND,
NO, I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU THE EXACT BRAND. WEREN'T YOU LISTENING
TO WHAT I JUST TOLD YOUR BUDDY BRYAN?
DOES THE RIGHT HAND KNOW WHAT THE LEFT HAND IS DOING?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE LIVE AUDIO BOARD. IN TERMS
OF GEOLOGIC TIME, THEY ARE BUT SHADOWS FLICKERING FROM THE FIRELIGHT
IN THE CAVES, HANDPRINTS DAUBED ON A WALL, DRAWINGS OF BISON HAULING
SLEDS OF LINE ARRAY CABINETS.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT OUR CONSOLES DO NOT BUZZ. EVERY CHANNEL
AND INSERT WORKS. IF SOMETHING GETS TAPED OVER, IT HITS THE BENCH
THE NEXT DAY. ALSO, DAVE RAT IS NOT THE ONLY GUY ON PLANET EARTH
WHO KNOWS HOW TO PROPERLY GROUND A VENUE'S SYSTEM, OK? OUR RIG IS
STABLE. STABLE IS GOOD. AND, WE WORK SAFE.
SAFETY FIRST, BRAD. SOAP UP THAT RAMP, THERE'S SOME S-4'S COMIN'!
YEE-HA!
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
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THE FIRST MAN ON EARTH, ADAM, ACTUALLY WROTE IN, BUT HIS QUESTION
VEXED ME MIGHTILY …
Who makes the best pro audio sub enclosures, or should I say:
what is the best sub that pounds and sounds the best? Thank you.
WELL, ADAM, DID YOU SEE "THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER?" LET
ME EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW FILMS GENERALLY WORK. IF THE FLICK WAS MADE
HERE IN THE STATES, GENERALLY SPEAKING, THE AMERICAN SUBMARINERS
ARE GOING TO WIN OUT. DID YOU CHECK OUT "DAS BOOT?" THAT
IS A MUST-SEE FOR ANYBODY AS INTO SUBS AS YOU CERTAINLY SEEM TO
BE!.
I TOLD YOUR MOOSEMEN BRAD AND BRYAN, ALREADY, I CANNOT GET INTO
THE BUSINESS OF ENDORSING SPECIFIC PIECES OF GEAR HERE. IT IS MY
RUGGED INDEPENDENCE AND INDEBTEDNESS TO NO DAMN'D MANUFACTURER THAT
MAKES ME VALUABLE TO YOU AND ALL THE OTHER PILGRIMS!
WHAT IF I SAID TO SOME SUBWOOFER COMPANY, YOU GIVE ME A PAIR OF
THEM FOR MY HOME THEATRE ROOM, AND I WILL SING YOUR COMPANY'S PRAISES
FOR EVER AND EVER? HEY, YOU JUST GAVE ME A GOOD IDEA - THANKS!
I'M SORRY! LET ME BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT - BRANDING IS EVIL. IT
IS, IF NOT THE ORIGINAL SIN, REALLY CLOSE TO IT. THESE BRANDING
SPECIALISTS CHEERFULLY ADMIT THAT THEY TARGET INFANTS, AND ACTUALLY
START TRYING TO CAUSE ONE AND TWO YEAR OLD KIDS TO NOTICE AND GET
USED TO COLORFUL LOGOS OF PRODUCTS THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO INSIST THEIR
PARENT KEEP BUYING.
IMHO, CHILDREN LEARN TO SPEAK FOR A VARIETY OF POTENTIALLY PROFOUND
REASONS, NONE OF WHICH IS BEING AN UNPAID SHILL FOR A GANG OF GREEDY
GOOFBALLS WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID REALLY WORKING FOR A LIVING.
SHOPPING MALLS ARE DESIGNED FOR YOU TO GET DISORIENTED IN AND FORGET
WHERE THE ELEVATOR IS, SO YOU WILL WALK PAST TWENTY EXTRA DISPLAY
WINDOWS. AND THE LEVEL OF STAGING TAKING PLACE IN THOSE WINDOWS
IS ANOTHER WHOLE HIGHLY DEVELOPED AND ABSOLUTELY INHUMANE SCIENCE.
THESE BRANDERS DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE HAPPY OR HEALTHY, THEY ONLY
CARE IF YOU BUY. BIG OIL, BIG TOBACCO, AND BIG AUDIO, IT'S ALL THE
SAME TO THEM.
AND OF COURSE THERE'S MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, BIG DONUTS!
- THE OLD SOUNDMAN
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