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(Editor’s note: The following has been making the rounds
via e-mail - writer unknown. While it’s not strictly related
to audio, it does have a certain resonance in the times we currently
live. - Keith Clark, PSW editorial director)
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common
Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from
heart failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really
knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost
in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals,
homes, and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare
and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating
such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are
in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran
of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends
including body piercing, whole language, and "new math."
But sadly, his health declined when he became infected with the
"if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages
of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain
as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash
after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools
had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but
could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or
wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received
better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses
in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally,
when a woman too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the
towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but
was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations
such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.
His funeral was poorly attended because so few realized he was gone...
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