Jokes

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding andhas the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when Igot my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for thisvehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, Ithink I saw the owner's card in the glove box when Iwas putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shotand killed the blonde bitch who owns this car and stuffed her inthetrunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The carwasquickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached thedriver tohandle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so Ican see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Gun ? What fucking gun ?? ...there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I wastold you said there's a body in it.

Driver: I said what ????

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you saidyoutold him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun intheglove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, And I'll bet the lying son-of-a-bitch told you Iwasfucking speeding too !!! 

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