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1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH
yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW
and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners
would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint
to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after
year and claim it's the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car
would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style
but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it
would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but
must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets
AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that
can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL
car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience
in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make
other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL
car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that
cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car
owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce
just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older
or younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel
and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car
it would say, "Good-Bye."
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