It is well documented that for every minute that
you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home
at $5000 per month.
.    
My grandmother started walking five miles a
day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where
the hell she is.
The only reason I would take up exercising is
so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about
400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
         
I have to exercise early in the morning
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that
you die healthier.
  
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
And last but not least:
I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail
it to them!

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