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Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him "Can I also sit like you, and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So the rabbit sat on the ground under the tree and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on to the rabbit and ate him.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "But I haven't got the energy" The bull replied, "well why don't you nibble on some of my droppings? They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him the strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by the farmer who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit may get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the Boss. The brain said "I should be the Boss because I control all of the body's functions & responses. The feet replied " We should be the Boss because we carry the brain around to where he wants to go" Th Hands said "We should be the Boss because we do all of the work, and earn
all of the money" And so it went on to the heart, lungs, eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the body parts laughed at the thought of the asshole being the boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, The heart & lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did the work, while the Boss sat and passed out the shit.
Lesson: You don't need brains to be the Boss, any asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of dung it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was thawing him out! He lay there all warm & happy, and soon began to sing for joy, he was still alive! A cat was passing by, heard the bird singing, and decided to investigate the sound. Soon the cat found the bird under the pile of dung, promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons: 1 Not everyone that drops shit on you is your enemy. 2 Not everyone that gets you out of shit is your friend. 3 And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
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