Musician Jokes

Bagpipe Jokes

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit
any of the ducks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawn mower.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for
directions: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tune
bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you
have been hallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. A guy who can play the bagpipe, but doesn't.

Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and
dead bagpiper in the road?
A. Skid marks in front of the snake.

Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road
and a dead country singer in the road?
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording
session.

Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.

Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.

Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. To get away from the sound.


Q. What's the definition of "optimism"
A. A bagpiper with a beeper.

Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his
car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his
bagpipes in the back seat?

He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late
-- someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car!

 

 

 

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