A furry little rabbit, who is blind, is sitting under a bush, quietly sobbing, when a garden snake, who is also blind (quite a coincidence, but hey, it's a story . . .), happens along, and pauses by the rabbit.
"What's the matter" . . . he asks, to which the rabbit replies " I'm blind and lost, and I can't tell what kind of animal I am" . . . The snake answers "I'm blind, too. . . say, maybe we can help each other." "Tell you what . . . let me check you out first, and then you can do me, too".
The rabbit agrees, and the snake slithers over and proceeds to coil all around the rabbit. "Lemme see," he says . . . "you're warm and furry, and you've got long ears and a little puffy tail . . . you must be a rabbit."
"I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit" the little rabbit exclaims, and hops around excitedly . . . and the snake says "o.k., now it's my turn . . . "
The rabbit feels the snake very carefully, and says "Let's see . . . you're cold and slimy, and you don't have any ears at all . . . you must be a tour manager!"
Comprehending Engineers, --Take One
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for
15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's "have a word with
him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else
to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it
$49,999.
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system's many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
The engineer said, "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they'll each assume you're spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
An engineering student is walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
"Where did you get such a great bike?" asks the first.
The second engineer replies, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said take what you want.'"
The second engineer nods approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
|
