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The Old Soundman: Of Girlfriends And Wagering
Our new pal Dan is getting hassled by a significant other while mixing, while a veteran soundman named Marc is pushing his luck.
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Hey Dan!

Yoko Onos. You know what I mean, I’m sure everyone who has sat behind a sound board knows what I mean. The know-it-all girl friends of the prima-donna lead singers.

Oh, yes. And really, they can be the girlfriend of any band member. Her guy is always not loud enough in the mix.

But a word of caution, Dan. Please do not libel Yoko Ono.

I know that it is tempting to blame her for the Beatles breaking up, but I don’t think that’s fair.

You have to admit that John Lennon did some of his best work when he was living with her, in the last few years before he died.

Also, how about the two of them appearing on behalf of John Sinclair? That was righteous.

Ah, you’re probably not old enough to remember that. You probably don’t even know who John Sinclair is.

You have to be nice to them because they are the loudmouths throughout the show telling everyone how crappy the sound is.

You try not to make eye contact with them but, you can see them coming, marching across the dance floor to tell you something like, “turn up the monitors, I hear him really pushing his voice.”

That’s a new one on me.

I can honestly say I have never heard that.

In my experience, girlfriends have always commented on the house mix.

I try to keep a professional attitude around the band and client, but after her third or fourth visit I just wanna flip out.

Have another beer, Dan, or a jack and coke, or whatever you prefer. I don’t want to seem to be promoting the use of alcohol, but it can often be a lifesaver in those kind of situations.

But watch out that you don’t drink too much and tell her what you really think of her. That could lead to you losing your position with her boyfriend’s band.

Most of the time it sounds great, but a great night can quickly turn into a nightmare with Yoko lurking in the shadows.


Ah, Dan, my young friend. Try and keep things under control and you may last as long as myself, or Marc here …


Howdy, Partner!

I am an OSM too, about 20 years into this roller coaster ride to wherever it’s heading…

Glad to hear it.

When you find out, let me know, okay?

Your opinions and philosophy remind me of the guys in our little sound community. We have a couple of guys that might even be older than you, but i’m not putting any of *my* money on that.

You are a wise man not to wager.

I’ll bet you don’t even play the keno in those freeway restaurants in Nevada, do you?

The feds have outlawed ephedrine, so you can’t get any more of those happy pills there, either. It’s best for you to stop doing them, anyway, Marc.

Just wondering where in this great land you and your club are located (geographically speaking)? if you are close, a road trip might be in order, maybe not…

Thanks for your time.

Best regards,


I don’t know what some of you guys are thinking.

I’m anonymous. It’s a simple word. Why don’t you understand it? If I tell one person who I am, or where I live, then the whole world will find out!

I really enjoy the fact that some very prominent people tear their hair out trying to figure out who I am.

Hint: I am not Doug Fowler, even though there are those that are absolutely convinced I am.

Stay out of my club, Marc!

Or, better yet, come through and do a show, and then leave without recognizing that I am me.

Maybe you already have!

Luv –
The Old Soundman

There’s simply no denying the love from The Old Soundman. Check out more from OSM here.

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